Truth really is stranger than fiction

Hey, peeps–

Happy first week of the new year!

Y’know, sometimes I’ll read, say, a novel (like a thriller) and there’ll be a scene in there so f***ed up, so terribly freaky, that I’ll just kind of stop and think: “Holy flying cowpies, Batman. This author has some kind of craziness in the ol’ brain pan to think that up.”

But then I’ll simply peruse the daily news and realize that no matter what completely freaky/debauched/sick/twisted/crazy stuff some author writes in his or her books, there’s somebody out there in the real world who has already done it or experienced it.

So on those days when I’m kind of looking for a new approach to or perspective on something I’m working on and I don’t feel like going to a movie, I just check weird news sites and come across things like this, which invariably give me ideas. Which I’ve included here, of course.

Go see.


Dead, cooked squid still manages to inseminate woman’s mouth
I’m thinking a spec fic novel along the lines of a Bladerunner kind of thing. Weird cloning experiments via food insemination.

Or how about this one? A new trend in tats? (God, let’s hope not.) Getting one IN (not ON) your nether regions. As in, da butt. No, for reals.
Check it.
I totally see this in a murder mystery. Dead body with an anal tat, and the person working to solve the crime has to track that ass.

Remember when I told you that no matter what someone thinks up to put in a novel, someone in the real world has already done it? Well, here’s a possible example. This Japanese self-described “asexual” chef cooked up his own genitals and served them at a meal. As if that isn’t bad enough, 5 diners took him up on his offer to cook ’em and serve ’em. For reals.
Here’s your fiction idea: sadistic killer in a thriller who does this to his victims.

Some stories made mainstream news. Like the so-called “cannibal man” in Florida, who attacked and ate a homeless man’s face off.
Man on drugs? Or the first person infected with a zombie virus?

Here’s a “what are the odds” story. A pilot was flying his single-engine plane home from North Carolina to Florida, and from the air, spotted a guy trying to steal a trailer from his property. Check it.
I see this as another mystery story kind of thing, where a crime is witnessed from the air, but there’s actually a bigger conspiracy at play.

Remember that ZZ Top song, “She’s Got Legs”? Oh, sorry. Some of you are 80s-challenged. Here. Anyway, this story made me think of that song, but in a way that would have the guys singing, “She’s got no legs.” Why? Here’s how the article starts: “The stabber has only one leg. The stabber’s lawyer has only one leg. And the guy who was stabbed? No legs.”
That is worthy of almost any genre.

Cool history story. Family reunited with a 1938 heirloom. Check out how it was found. That’s a great story for a cozy mystery, maybe.

Who knew this would be a fashion trend?
Young adult novel in there somewhere…

I totally see a cool paranormal novel here. Woman accuses ghost of stealing her résumé (CV), which was worth “$5000” to the woman.

And just cuz. Doctor eats world’s hottest curry, hallucinates halfway through, but survives. You folks ever read the novels of Carl Hiaasen? Well, this curry-eating incident and the hallucinations should totally be in one of his books (along with the butt-tat thing). Or Elmore Leonard’s.

Happy writing, happy reading.

5 comments

  1. Fun links! In a Simpson episode several years back, Homer ate the world’s hottest pepper and hallucinated, with Johnny Cash as his spirit guide, no less. One of my favorites.

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  2. I think part of the problem is believability. You read this stuff and try to make it into a story, and it ends up coming across as just too bizarre to ask the reader to take the leap. lol

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