I hope you all are having a fabulous day 🙂
I’ve spent the last two days writing two very long blogs to post here today. I’m not using either of them.
Because they turned out to be angry rants. After I finished the first one, I felt horrible emotionally. Then I realized I had already posted another blog on a similar subject, but that one was in a happy conversational tone. After throwing away 1623 words on that one (along with several pictures to go with it), I wrote another 1100 word blog and felt exactly the same way as I did on the first. Although the words I wrote were true, they were full of venom. When I read them back to myself – what I had written made me uncomfortable and left a bad taste in my mouth.
This is NOT what I want to put out into the Universe today. Spirit told me that it would spread like a virus and leave my readers feeling the same way. Which is absolutely NOT what I want to accomplish in the world today.
I’m a firm believer that you attract what you put out. I also argue with myself to not feel what it is I don’t want to feel – which draws more of that to me…
This is when I always run to Jove and Andi – freaking out because I don’t have a blog for the next day. I take my opportunity here very seriously. At which point – they tell tell me to relax, everything is fine. I appreciate them endlessly for the patience and understanding they give me.
But this time, I had passed GO (sadly, without my two hundred) – and was in full-blown-insecure-panic-ridden-pissy mode. Not a nice place to be.
I set aside both blogs, and decided to “punt” as Jove suggested I do in the morning.
So, I woke up late, sad because it was dark and gloomy outside. I finally dragged my feet into the office and turned on the computer. I checked my email, then cruised on to Facebook – it hit me square between the eyes when I began reading the morning posts.
There’s nothing wrong with me. I am simply going through a case of the Doldrums – like so many of my friends are. My timeline is full of women that I care about who are feeling exactly the same. So, I Googled the definition.
a state or period of inactivity, stagnation, or depression.
synonyms: depression, melancholy, gloom, gloominess, downheartedness, dejection, despondency, low spirits, despair; inertia, apathy, listlessness, blahs, blue funk, blues
inactive, quiet, slow, slack, sluggish, stagnant.
Makes you think doesn’t it?
I analyze everything – and I mean everything. If I have questions, I set my mind to look for answers until I find the one that satisfies me. I can’t give you a concrete explanation of “why” this time.
I get this way every Winter. The more I fight it, the worse it gets. Because of course, fighting anything and putting that much energy into it – brings that very thing back to you. It looks exactly like this: You can click HERE which will take you to a cute article that goes with it by Stephanie Keenan – who created the graph.
Winter blues are like childbirth for me. I forget how bad it hurt the last time I lived through it!
Don’t get mad at me for planting this in your head all day – at least you’ll be singing a happy song – right? 🙂
AND – my job is done for the day! Have a good one.
Happy Birthday to my beautiful, beloved first-born granddaughter – Mikayla Renee. Nana will always love you.