The Doldrums

I hope you all are having a fabulous day πŸ™‚
I’ve spent the last two days writing two very long blogs to post here today. I’m not using either of them.

Why?

Because they turned out to be angry rants. After I finished the first one, I felt horrible emotionally. Then I realized I had already posted another blog on a similar subject, but that one was in a happy conversational tone. After throwing away 1623 words on that one (along with several pictures to go with it), I wrote another 1100 word blog and felt exactly the same way as I did on the first. Although the words I wrote were true, they were full of venom. When I read them back to myself – what I had written made me uncomfortable and left a bad taste in my mouth.

This is NOT what I want to put out into the Universe today. Spirit told me that it would spread like a virus and leave my readers feeling the same way. Which is absolutely NOT what I want to accomplish in the world today.

stop policeman

I’m a firm believer that you attract what you put out. I also argue with myself to not feel what it is I don’t want to feel – which draws more of that to me…

rock and hard place

This is when I always run to Jove and Andi – freaking out because I don’t have a blog for the next day. I take my opportunity here very seriously. At which point – they tell tell me to relax, everything is fine. I appreciate them endlessly for the patience and understanding they give me.

But this time, I had passed GO (sadly, without my two hundred) – and was in full-blown-insecure-panic-ridden-pissy mode. Not a nice place to be.
I set aside both blogs, and decided to “punt” as Jove suggested I do in the morning.

So, I woke up late, sad because it was dark and gloomy outside. I finally dragged my feet into the office and turned on the computer. I checked my email, then cruised on to Facebook – it hit me square between the eyes when I began reading the morning posts.

There’s nothing wrong with me. I am simply going through a case of the Doldrums – like so many of my friends are. My timeline is full of women that I care about who are feeling exactly the same. So, I Googled the definition.

DOL.DRUMS

Noun
1.
a state or period of inactivity, stagnation, or depression.
synonyms: depression, melancholy, gloom, gloominess, downheartedness, dejection, despondency, low spirits, despair; inertia, apathy, listlessness, blahs, blue funk, blues
“winter doldrums”
inactive, quiet, slow, slack, sluggish, stagnant.

Doldrum In the movie, The Never Ending Story, The Doldrums was an actual place and this creature lived there.

Makes you think doesn’t it?

I analyze everything – and I mean everything. If I have questions, I set my mind to look for answers until I find the one that satisfies me. I can’t give you a concrete explanation of “why” this time.

I get this way every Winter. The more I fight it, the worse it gets. Because of course, fighting anything and putting that much energy into it – brings that very thing back to you. It looks exactly like this: cycle You can click HERE which will take you to a cute article that goes with it by Stephanie Keenan – who created the graph.

Winter blues are like childbirth for me. I forget how bad it hurt the last time I lived through it!

In the meantime – let’s all do like Annie and sing – okay?
One…
Two…
Three…
annie singing

Don’t get mad at me for planting this in your head all day – at least you’ll be singing a happy song – right? πŸ™‚

AND – my job is done for the day! Have a good one.

Happy Birthday to my beautiful, beloved first-born granddaughter – Mikayla Renee. Nana will always love you.

33 comments

  1. This is perfect. A lesson that all of us need to learn, especially writers, is that our words have power. Not just the individual power of a single word, but the cumulative power of a group of words put together to support an idea. Not all of us, myself included, have the wherewithal to know when the words we’ve chosen will have an adverse, unintended negative impact.

    Good for you for listening to the voice inside you and for taking a step back. I think you’re an excellent punter.

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  2. Thanks for this Yvonne….. I thought it was just me that felt this way and the “doldrums” is a perfect description…. Now I’m going to put the radio on so I can get another tune in my head rather than…… Oh this is better…. Girls just wanna have fun….

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  3. Sometimes writing down the angry rants helps us work through and get past those negative thoughts, which is valuable, but we can keep those thoughts in our heads and journals, and not put them out into the Universe. Very self aware of you to realize what you were doing, Yvonne, and to hold back. The internet is already so full of “angry rants” and far too lean on people like you who are intent on putting good thoughts out there. Well done. And bless you for not including audio with the Annie song. πŸ™‚

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  4. I think just being aware helps… and when swamped by feelings you describe, being proactive helps .. a great blog for this dark sank time of year…

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  5. Here’s a happy thought for you: I finally read The Awakening. I liked it so much that I had to buy the Quickening immediately, rather than read the ones I’d planned on reading next from my 100+ to-read list. Definitely one of my favorite books, and probably series as well when i finish the 2nd one. You’re a terrific writer and a wonderful person!!!

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  6. What a good blog. You really put it out there. The winter blahs get so many people and your take on it was upbeat. Well done.

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  7. Dude!!! DOLDRUMS??? Winter blahs???? No way…check this out: Middle school teacher, SE Michigan, temperature -3 to 4 degrees for the high, 30-35 mph wind gusts, -30 windchill, Monday and Tuesday school cancelled with the possibility of a delay or cancellation on Wednesday!!!!! No students or grading papers for my free days…I’m smiling and dancing around like a fool!!! That said, I feel your pain… so I’ll send some of my joy your way, go ahead and borrow some for the day!!! Yippee, yahoo go play!!! πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰ πŸ™‚

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  8. Must not sing THAT song … must not sing THAT song … must not …

    The best rendition of it I’ve heard was by Eva in the movie ‘Igor’. Did she ever belt it out!

    Hope your doldrums become brightdrums soon.

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  9. Oh, girlfriend, I know EXACTLY how you feel. I’ve been going through the same thing (have you read my blogs lately?). I’m in a period of severe angst, uncertainty, and, yes, doldrums. And I, like you, have been concerned about the negativity that I’ve been putting out into the Universe. I’ve had enough of it, I don’t want to draw more to myself. So, I hope things get better for you. I’m sure they will once Spring thaw happens. πŸ™‚

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  10. As you’ve seen, you’re certainly not alone in the winter blah department. I had always blamed the lack of sunlight as though the universe was somehow shortchanging me for the season. This year, I learned a different twist on the seasonal blues. A friend loaned me her copy of We’Moon 2013, to read the poetry. I found a theme that makes sense. The earth slows down in the winter; it’s the season of rest. We generally all accept that….for the earth. For us? Nah! We’re better than that. We’re capable of chugging along at full steam all year, relying on little cat-naps to recharge. Well, aren’t we part of the earth? Are we really so arrogant to think we are a species that doesn’t need rest? Apparently so. And there in lies the design for our seasonal blues (families & holidays aside). We’re trying to force our bodies to go against nature. Our bodies resist, we feel anxious and cranky. We get sick more often. Our jobs and families won’t sit waiting for three months, but maybe, if we were gentler with ourselves over the winter, the season wouldn’t be so bad.

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  11. I go through this too Yvonne. Mine is dx as SAD or Seasonal Affective Disorder. It is not fun and the light therapy doesn’t help me. Hang in there. Hugs….

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