I can’t believe it’s November. I was having a really hard time letting go of October—I know this because I was dating future events at work with an October date instead of November.
Well, I’m in the grip of November now and find myself planning for Thanksgiving. It’s a bit overwhelming because it seems to come around quicker and quicker every year.
I used to have the holidays in the bag. For about ten years, I had Thanksgiving at my home, with both my family and my ex’s. I started planning weeks in advance and had lists upon lists. The day always went beautifully. Well, the food did, anyway. The inter-family dynamics were another story, but despite that, everyone always had a good time. Sometimes we had guests—relatives visiting from Italy or friends who found themselves alone one particular year or another.
After my ex and I broke up, my holidays, like everything else in my life, became a bit of a jumble. That major change in my life, plus other major life changes, deaths in the family, and aging parents have caused a change in how I relate to the holidays. I never know what the holidays will bring anymore or what I should be doing until they are upon me. Where is it going to be? What am I making? Who am I getting gifts for (looking ahead to December).
Everything is so unsettled these days. My life was actually more settled when I was in my 20s. For most people, it’s the opposite: uncertain, crazy life in their 20s, settled and more secure in their… ahem…later years.
The holidays are extra-super-crazy. Kind of like the Thunderbolt at Coney Island. A series of constant loops and stomach-flipping drops.
But I guess that’s life.