The Tortoise and the Hair

Top of the Morning to you and all that.

This is one of those occasions that I get to write on a 5th Monday!

I was going to write about building a series – but that’s a subject that isn’t going anywhere and will have as much impact when I write it.  Today I’m going to talk about selfless acts and selfish behaviors.

I’m going to stress here – this is only MY opinion – and may not be true for others.

I consider my depression is selfish.  I try and find my way around in the dark and watch the people who love me most struggle and try to “fix” it.

I struggle to fix it.

I pray and give things to the Universe.  I pretend, post, and do positive things to change my energy.

Let’s put aside the empathy for a second – although it contributes, now that I’m aware and of it and know how to somewhat control it – I’m left with me.

No matter where I go – there I am.

My entire life –  I struggled with addictions and unhealthy behaviors to change the way I think and feel.

And in the end, when I’m done trying to fix myself – I’m still left with the Tortoise meandering it’s path, drawing back into my shell.

It’s okay – I have a point!

Writing gives me escape and healthy characters – for the most part 🙂  Or at least characters I get to “fix.”

Yay for writing!

I’m wondering why I’m baring my soul.

Maybe – It’s because I feel I can today.

Looking out from behind a metaphorical wool blanket yesterday – I watched my beautiful (inside and out) wife shaving her head – wanting to support women who had no choice in keeping their own hair during their battles with cancer.

I have made decisions that would break your heart – and continue to break mine.

But not this one.

I heard a little voice tell me to “do something selfless”  Make it count.

I have hid behind my hair for decades.  I had the perfect Farrah hair during the perfect time and lived my party days through the 80’s.  My hair has always been my ego’s security.

But you know what?  I listened to that voice – and I feel wonderful.  I feel free and I feel “unselfish” and relieved.

Because people that I love have no choice – they gave it up unwillingly.  And I’m so happy to know that I have it in ME – to show selflessness.

I have an awesome gift of communication – and I can say the perfect things and the perfect time to have the biggest impact.

But this was a gift that needed no words.  I wanted only to show solidarity for my sisters. For the women who feel helpless and scared.  I want this to be a hug for you.

Because today I’m not wrapped in that wool blanket.  I am exposed and vulnerable in a very good way.

My tears and prayers are for YOU today.

So thank YOU for your bravery and sharing your stories with me.  

I appreciate YOU.




After me



  1. Thank you for this, Yvonne. Phyllis lost her hair to chemo a couple of years ago when she was battling uterine cancer. I had wanted to shave my head in support, but she had me wait until her hair grew out just a little before I got my hair cut down to that short-short length. It’s a supportive, “heart” thing to do… so thank you again.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What you and Sandy did was an amazing act of love. Which I will forever be grateful for. Yes, unwillingly I had to give up my hair to try and beat this horrible disease. But I know deep down I am doing everything I can to try and stay with my family and friends. I thank you for the love and support you have given to me. I love you two so very much. I hope you always know that.

    Liked by 1 person

    • We know you’re a fighter and how much love you have to spare 🙂 We love you so much! There isn’t a day that goes by that we aren’t pulling for, crying, or praying for you.


  3. Thank you so much sister for your gift. It has touched my and everyone elses heart I am sure. XXXOOOOOO You look marvelous by the way.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I so love you and things like this make me MORE proud then ever to have this group of sisters. Our lives have many more places to go before they are all over with and we meet somewhere else again. I love you lady !! You were beautiful before your act of love and I swear you came out MORE beautiful when you were done.


  5. Wow. Such a selfless, caring, noble, EXTRAORDINARY act. And something I would NEVER have the courage to do. We definitely need more people in the world like you, Yvonne. You are amazing. Thank you. 🙂


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