A Nick in My Jade

Very little shocks me, and I’m not often surprised. Yet, as jaded as I am, I still find myself stunned at the depths of stupidness and selfishness that people sink to. Maybe it’s because the motives are always the same (jealousy, greed, fear, anger) but the modes of expression seem to come from a bottomless well.

Acts of stupidity and selfishness are all around us every day, but the ones that take me aback are the ones perpetrated against those in our own community. The LGBT community is an oppressed minority, and when members of an oppressed minority target one another, it seems all the more vicious and evil, even if it’s something minor. Not to mention the fact that it’s unprofessional.

I’m not talking about any one specific incident here; rather, I’ve seen examples of this going on in the lesfic community for some time now.

Of course, we are human, too, and we succumb to the same human foibles as the rest of the world. But it seems to me that we should try harder to work together harmoniously because, in the end, we’re all we’ve got.

So then I’m disappointed. Although there are so many wonderful people in our community, I’m disappointed in those who are not. The lesfic world is a mini-micro world and I think we would all succeed even more if everyone put their energy toward supporting each other rather than tearing each other down. If the asshats would stop being asshats, we’d all be a lot happier and our business would be more profitable.

But I’m aware that I’m asking too much, so instead of asking that we all join hands around a campfire and sing “Kumbaya” or “Age of Aquarius,” I will only suggest that we stop trying to find ways to hurt each other for our own selfish gains and try instead to support each other and wish each other well.

Even if just a handful of people do this, that will be a handful of people fewer torturing each other.

I’ll take it.



  1. Agreed. I feel the same way when I see feminists (or women in general, for that matter) attacking each other. There is so much ignorance and opposition already, we don’t need to contribute that. I do love though that Women & Words always offers a place for respectful conversation.

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  2. WTF??? I don’t know what is going on with this situation (s) but if family is doing anything other than offering support, then shame on them 👿 I say to just tell them to FOCUS!!! Yep, that translates to: Fuck Off Cuz You’re Stupid!!! 😳

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      • Too bad we can’t just revoke their membership to our club…when someone is miserable with their life, they try to bring others down…Smile and walk away; realizing that the problem is theirs to carry…Sorry you have to have any association or connection with their issues.


  3. “We are the woooooorld…”

    But yeah. I, too, wonder why this happens though it’s not unusual. Within often marginalized communities, there’s a tendency to turn on each other in what I consider misguided attempts at a sense of power and control within a larger, oppressive culture. We could spent days navel-gazing on that, but ultimately, people can be douchecanoes.

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  4. I agree wholeheartedly and I will continue to do everything I can to support the lesfic community. I just don’t understand those who don’t. It is beyond my realm of comprehension. I’d like to think that everyone has a reason for doing something and try to assume good intentions, but sometimes it’s hard.


  5. I’ll join hands with you and sing…especially Aquarius! (Love that song). As far as this stuff, normally I miss it or am oblivious til it’s over but this time I’ve seen some pretty nasty stuff on both sides and it just makes me sad! I don’t know either person very well but I hate when this happens and yes, I’m one of those dreamers that wishes that women and/or lesbians could get along and support each other! I know…not always realistic but I’ll keep dreaming! Big hugs to all, k


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