Bungee cords and The Committee

Has it been a month already?  The time flies and all that 🙂

time-flies-and-we-have-fun

I’ve done some soul searching, you know – thinking about the stuff you’re supposed to after a heart attack. I came to some excellent conclusions.

There is no time to waste here.  “Someday” isn’t an option as it was when I was younger – Or more importantly, pre-heart-attack.

Time to stop procrastinating.

The time is now – right now – and now…

you get the picture 🙂

I’ve split my life into before and after – yet again.

When I look back – I can remember all these huge life events and see them as if I’m a different person.

It’s because I am 🙂

And my perception has changed again.

maya-angelo-quote

All of this sounds wonderful, yes?

I had two whole glorious months while the committee was silent.

My skin fit, I accepted life on life’s terms, and all that wonderful stuff that well adjusted people know instinctively. With the generous outpouring of love and support from my friends and family – and online friends and family – I felt invincible and accepted. None of that crap in my head mattered. You truly find who and what’s important in a life and death situation.

Does-It-Really-Matter.001

Overnight, I had lost my insecurities.  I compared things in my mind with this statement in mind…  “Would this (insert situation) matter if I was flat on my back in the ambulance again?”

And the answer is always, no.

There are so many things that I’d like to change and I don’t feel as if I have “someday” to fall back on.  I’m really feeling my mortality.

I missed my deadline for my new rom-com, Along Came Aislin.

I love deadlines

Can’t feel remotely good about that. Even if my health has kept me down.

I have new ideas daily. Then I get depressed because I don’t feel as if I have enough time to write them. And I can’t (or don’t feel as if) I can work on new stories when I haven’t finished that one.

Oh loooook, guilt… You can take the girl out of the catholic school – but you can’t take the catholic out of the girl.

AAAAAND like a rubber band that’s stretched and released – the committee comes rushing back.

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Evidently, like most things I’ve thought I’ve let go of – the insecurities had a bungee cord attached!

So, do insecure people write? or does writing make us insecure?

Then I find something like this:tumblr_nb1151hPNA1twav8oo1_1280

So now I’m a cliche – ha-ha!

The thing about not writing for a while is this: it gets harder and harder to throw myself back in to a story.  Any story.  I spent the time reading a hundred books or so. But the unfinished one haunted me daily.

I thought about giving up writing. And being remembered for Sometime Yesterday and my Sisters Trilogy – Saving myself from all the crap the committee and I do to myself in the process. I have a hundred excuses all lined up.

Then I realize:  I don’t have to have any.  It’s as simple as, do I want to write?  Forget all of the publishing drama I put myself through.  Do I want to tell stories?

The answer is, yes – I do!  There will be changes – there has to be for my sanity – but I can handle them IF I go back to my daily question….

Is this going to matter…

The good news is I’ve opened my laptop (after having had to get it fixed – again) and fell in love with Aislin all over again.

It’s classic Yvonne humor – and I love it.

She’ll be fashionably late – but I hope ya’ll fall in love with her as well.  I’ll battle the committee and bungee cords again – because the end result is what I love – sharing my stories with readers!

Have a great day.

Congrats to all of the Goldie Winners!  

And I’ll leave you with this – I’m truly honored that The Quickening, Book Two in the Sisters of Spirits trilogy was a finalist in the Paranormal category.  How cool is it to see your book on the big screen?

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Very cool!  

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11 thoughts on “Bungee cords and The Committee

  1. Congrats on being recognised in you writing as a Goldie Finalist. Let’s all hope the bloody bungee cord perishes over time and the stupid thing breaks and sets you free. In the mean time keep up your mantra and remember you are loved and cherished by many people you have not even met in person.

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  2. Be kind to yourself and the people who love you. Deadlines are arbitrary and are missed by people all over the world every day. So far the world has not come to an end. Be well. Be happy. Love like there’s no tomorrow. That’s all that matters in the long run.

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  3. Bungee cords are meant to stretch and stretch, to create new connections, and most importantly, provide safety and security…DON’T STRESS ABOUT DEADLINES…😁 We will patiently await your next books whenever they are finished…no sweat! Continued healthy healing; congrats’ on your Goldie nod, and if the bungee cords ever get too tight, scissors work well to cut the little mothers into shreds!!! 😳

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  4. Experiences with mortality tend to have two mutually exclusive effects: either you learn a lesson that changes your life, or you dive even deeper into how you lived before. It’s so nice to hear that you are well and jumping back into the writing game. As far as Aisling being late? Better late than never!

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      1. Maybe you did learn something, but it’s just buried under the shock of the thing. I think that, with time, it will come to the surface. Good luck.

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