So, welcome 2016. A year full of promise and hope, much like the start of every year. Guess we’ll see where it goes from here. Personally, other than continuing to try to eat healthier and get more exercise–the staples in my New Year Resolution war chest–I’m not resolutioning anything else.
That being said, my better half, for the last six months, has blathered on about her New Year’s Resolution. When she would mention it, I’d give her an indulgent smile, nod my head, and carry on. You see, my honey is very soft-hearted. She tries to save spiders on the sly because she knows I’ll squash them faster than you can say, “HOLYSHITKILLIT!” I think I even overheard her mention last summer that she felt bad killing the state bird of Minnesota. NO! Not that one–the other one–the bloodsuckadea mosquitoramus. Holy cow.
What is this hugemungous resolution, you ask. The love of my life’s tender heart has broadened to encompass animals. Well, she’s always loved animals, but this goes a bit beyond. In protest over the treatment of animals included in our food supply, she’s decided to become a vegetarian. That’s an incredibly honorable concept. One I’m all for it as long as it doesn’t affect me. So January 1 come and went. As of the 10th, my lovely Betty has maintained her resolution. The problem here is that I love my meat far too much to give it up. I’m very willing to cut back, and I have, but the thought of living meatless is akin to living chocolate-less. I simply cannot do it. Then Betty, who’s the cook in the family, told me she wasn’t going to cook meat any more since she wasn’t going to be eating it. Oh that’s bad. I burn water in the kitchen.
I stewed (meatlessly) a couple of days, and then I remembered I’d been given slow cooker liners for Christmas. I hate trying to clean the slow cooker bowl with a passion. But by using these liners, I could make myself some meat-filled happy-happy and clean up would be super easy. Then I got to thinking that plan wasn’t very nice of me. Betty’s kept me fed all these years. So, I stepped up to the plate and found a couple slow cooker vegetarian recipes and slow cooked my ass off, hoping to help her and to feed me until she got over this (haters, don’t hate–I know it’s probably one of the best things you can do for yourself) silliness.
Then she had to go to New Jersey for a few days, and the fridge was still half-filled with containers of healthy vegetables and lentils and quinoa and beans galore. So what have I been eating since she’s been gone? Yeah. I hung in till last night, when I had a meat attack of GINORMOUS proportions. I was HANGRY! I wanted me a summer sausage (which has been banned in our house for years because its location on the good-for-you scale lingers somewhere below the bottom according to my Sweet Thang) and cheese sandwich and I wanted it NOW! I should mention that we’ve tried hard to cut back on the carbs too, so bread hit the road awhile back. Under the seductive spell of beefy deliciousness, I toddled on over to the local grocer in sub-zero weather and bought the smallest missile-shaped sausage I could find. Then I hunted up a single bolillo roll in the bakery, hauled my behind home, and whipped up some meaty delight. It took about three minutes to hork that bad boy down. It was nirvana. Well, not as nirvanaistic as dark chocolate, to be honest, but taste-bud-satisfying nonetheless.
Anyway, Betty comes home tomorrow, and I’ve got wild rice and quinoa and lentils and various veggies slow cookering as I write this. I don’t know how much she likes wild rice, but I love it, so she’s stuck with it. After that I’ll throw in stuff for some kind of weird vegetable enchilada thing I found on the internet and hopefully that’ll take us through this coming week. Maybe by then she’ll see her way back to chicken. Or beef. Or some pork chopage. And then again maybe she’ll toe the line.
Yeah, I might not like it, but I’ll do what I can to help her succeed.
SO, my loves, I’m looking for vegetarian slow cooker recipes you actually like! They can include cheese and milk. AND they have to be easy. Please share so we aren’t stuck eating a rotation of three recipes for the rest of my life or until we return to a meat-filled household! PS NO brussels sprouts!