Valentine’s Day. Romance. And all that crap.

V day valentines banner

Yeah, so that day of hearts, boxes of chocolates, teddy bears, and red roses is almost upon us.

V day flowers and bear

It’s a day that is in turns reviled and rejoiced. I’ve had twenty years to refine my talents in this area, and I’ve come up with a few hits: Sending flowers to your honey at work is a good idea, and they usually like it! Take them out to a special place for dinner. Bonus points if you remember to give them a card. Be sure to fill it out first or your bonus points do the whirly down the toilet. Been there. It’s not cool to hang over your loved one’s shoulder saying, “If I would have had time to fill this out, I would have said blah blah blah.” You get super cool bonus points if you take them to a romantic dinner and then bring them ice skating. That one was stellar.

v day skating


Of course, on the flip side,  I’ve come up with a few duds: It’s best to at least hand over a card on that oh-so-special day, even if you don’t have anything else to give with it. Learn from my mistakes, here! Which leads me to my next oops…don’t give a crockpot to your love on Valentine’s Day. They will not love it and may even question their love for you. Practicality isn’t a good excuse for failed romance.

V day crock pot


And then there’s the double fail:

Wife looks at you and says, “Honey, what’s the date?”

Glances at phone. “It’s the 15th.”

“What month are we in?”

“Uh.” Glances at phone again. “February.”

“That’s what I thought. Happy belated Valentine’s Day!”

Yup. We exchanged a big old kiss and said we’d try again next year. Sometimes those are the easiest Valentine’s Days of all!


v day cupid-valentines-day1


So what are your most epic wins and seriously catastrophic Valentine’s day fails? Because really, don’t we all of a crock pot story?


v day valentines_day love is complicated



  1. Had been in the USA a few years, mixing in radical feminist circles. Started dating new woman. Assumed that like all my friends, she thought Valentines Day was invented by capitalists for their own profit and would ignore it like I would. Feb 14 comes, she has got me chocolates, flowers, card, the works. She couldn’t believe I had nothing for her. Did we break up over it? Almost. But luckily, she accepted that it had nothing to do with how I felt about her. We’ve now been together over 23 years and for Valentines Day have run the gamut from all and nothing and everything in between.


  2. Two years ago, it was my first Valentine’s day with my partner and I’d decided I was going to make a big deal of it because I really liked her a lot. I was going to surprise her with reservations to her favorite restaurant, a limousine, flowers, all the works! I tell her I’m going to come over at 6:00pm, but I don’t tell her about the plans yet. Reservations are for 9:00, so it leaves her plenty of time to get ready (we’re both pretty high-maintenance in the time department).

    I get there, and there’s another limousine parked on the curb in front of her building. “Big day for the limo industry,” I think, assuming someone in the building had the same plans I did. That someone turned out to be my partner. It seems she had made 8:00pm reservations to my favorite restaurant (totally shorting me on time with her obviously inferior surprise plan–she didn’t even tell me to dress up!) and she, too, had hired a limousine. We ended up sending one of the cars to our friend’s house for her personal use, we took the other one ourselves, then we went to both restaurants and just stuffed ourselves with plate after plate of hors d’oeuvres. Best. Night. Ever. I feel confident in stating that we each gained about ten pounds, which just meant there was more of us to love.

    That’s not the funny part of the story, though. The funny part is that they weren’t our favorite restaurants. Neither one of us had ever actually been to them before. When we were making small-talk during the early dating phase and the what’s-your-favorite-restaurant question came up, we each picked the fanciest place we could think of in an attempt to impress the other. Turns out we both prefer cheap Thai food. We could’ve saved a fortune and just gotten takeout.

    (For the record, we’re still together and our dining costs have plummeted dramatically.)


  3. Jenna, How amazing! What a fun story. Thank you for sharing! It’s funny what we initially say and do to try to impress the person we’re with at the beginning of a relationship. Congrats on lowering your food costs LOL


Comments are closed.