I’m late!

A reader’s perspective of life’s monthly inconvenience. 

I’m late! But I’m not pregnant. Not that I haven’t been asked that question a zillion times- usually by medical professionals. I mean I get why they need to ask that question but it is always that awkward conversation when they are going through their list and come to the what type of birth control is used and I answer, “being a lesbian.” Not really sure that is a correct response, but for me it makes sense. Doesn’t it? I used it when one of my co-workers was saying that the only absolutely sure way to not get pregnant is to practice abstinence with sex. It might not have been the most appropriate response to yell across the room, “I have lots of sex and there’s no chance I’m getting pregnant!” but at least it made my co-workers chuckle.

Sex and pregnancy though, women have some serious extra expenses in this whole biological process. Being a double baby-producing-aged-female household we should have invested in Tampax stocks or something. Seriously, I’m not a fan. It definitely makes me a woman and I am absolutely NOT saying that I’m embarrassed by it, I’m just saying, ugh! It’s a pain in the hoohaw! Every month though! Jeez it’s like it’s on a cycle of every 28 days or something!!

So just because I’m on a weird kick today, I started thinking about this cycle in literature. You have to admit, it is a part of who women are, and there isn’t really any getting away from it- even with the pill. There are still a few days in there when it’s just sort of not appropriate. Again, my opinion. But how long does it take to romance someone and does that get factored into the process? (Again, full disclosure I am NOT necessarily wanting to have this brought up in my moments of escape through books, I’m just saying it happens!) It came up in The House on Sandstone and it made me chuckle. I remember it being a bit of an inconvenience in BL Miller’s Accidental Love.
 But has it really come up in other stories? Just a totally random thought that just made my curiosity kick in. I think our lesfic authors do an amazing job of bringing our stories to life. And yes that includes all the Ugh! moments as well!!



  1. I laughed out loud a couple of times in this blog. I, too, have responded to the are you pregnant question in a similar fashion. Fortunately menopause took care of the other issue. The lack of periods is divine, but the hot flashes are a bitch and no they don’t make me “hot” – still the same 56 yr old woman I was before going through menopause. It doesn’t improve your looks…..

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  2. I would have loved to see the startled look on your co-worker’s face when you yelled that across the room 🙂

    I haven’t seen periods be much of an issue in lesfic, though I don’t know if I was paying attention or not. Now I’ll have to (and perhaps then add something in my own!)

    I will say, however, that an IUD (Mirena) nearly eliminates the period issue altogether, and much better than the pill.

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  3. Yeah, I’m not especially religious, but every time I hear someone refer to a supreme being as “the Goddess,” I just have to shake my head. If there is a mystical creator, it’s either gender-neutral or a male; there’s no way a woman designed this system. Cramps, bloating, PMS and all the other nonsense? Nope.

    I actually wouldn’t mind reading about our monthlies in lesfic and lesroms. If there’s ever been an audience that could relate to such a scene, it’s ours. I wish I could remember which book it was, but there was a scene in which one of the leads daydreamed of having her partner rub her tummy when she was having cramps. I’ve totally had those daydreams, and it’s something my partner and I do now. Reading that made me feel a special connection to the material, because no one really talks about it. How often do we hide a tampon up our sleeves on our way to the bathroom at a restaurant because it’s such a cultural taboo? It’s part of us, though.

    Also, how many women suffer from severe period pain? More than a few. In fact, it’s apparently one woman in five. A recent article on Qz.com* had some really interesting information on severe period pain that compared it to the pain of a heart attack. That seems like something that should’ve shown up in lesfic, but I can’t remember ever reading about it.

    *Source: http://qz.com/611774/period-pain-can-be-as-bad-as-a-heart-attack-so-why-arent-we-researching-how-to-treat-it/

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