That Would Do It!

A reader’s perspective of the breaking point

The second year that Kim and I did the AIDS LifeCycle it was a little different than the first year. The first year we had no idea what to expect, including what to wear, which is why on the second day at the second rest stop we were suffering from hypothermia. What started out as a cloudy day turned into a light rain that turned into a heavier rain that turned into a miserable morning to ride. On that first year we called it quits for the day at that second rest stop, got on a bus and headed for a hot shower at camp and  left 60 miles unridden. The second year I found out how much those 60 miles really come into play.

Pedal bitches

Ugh! Come day three I was a full on raging jerk and I have no idea how Kim ever put up with me. Seriously! I’m still shaking my head in embarrassment. But I do know that I am the luckiest person in the world to have someone as kind, considerate and amazing as Kim.

 I don’t want to ever do anything to jeopardize that relationship so I try my hardest to be as good to her as she is to me. I try to communicate with her and though I don’t always have the best communication techniques the intent is there. I fully believe that she tries to do the same. And I’m no expert on relationships but this one makes me happy and communication seems pretty key to that happiness.

When we were driving around one weekend we were talking about all the things that destroy relationships. Break-ups have been explored in different LesFic novels along with the reasons of what caused the break-ups. This could be the time where I put out a bunch of spoilers but I’m not that kind of reader. I like for everyone to get the full experience of a story including the goods and bads of relationships so you aren’t going to get any titles or cool cover arts this time. But it made us think, what could jeopardize a relationship?

How about for you? What makes a feasible reason for breaking up with someone? One scenario that seems to be a popular reason is infidelity. Yeah. That would be a heart breaker for me too, but should it even be a possibility if there is good communication? Lack of communication can cause a bunch of problems though. What about not communicating to your partner that you lost your job or that you lost all your money in a scam or something? Has that ever been in a story or is that not exciting enough? That would be pretty big though I mean if you can’t trust a person to tell you that you are in financial ruin and that your lifestyle is going to drastically change that seems to be a bit of a breaking point.

Communication darn it!! For me, though, these stories of break-ups and betrayals are incredibly hard to read. I even wrote an author once and thanked her for the story but told her that I wouldn’t be able to finish it because it was so difficult. I think it took me about 5 months to pick it up again and finally finish it and I cried and wanted to throw the book across the room several times trying to get through the scenes of betrayal. I do think it was well written and the characters were developed but I kept thinking, “just talk to each other!!” And I’m sure you can guess how that went. They didn’t. They had to learn from their mistakes. And I had to dehydrate from crying because these two people I connected with on the pages were making mistakes that could very easily not be forgiven.

There are other break-up scenarios that have been portrayed in our lesfic stories though and I’ve enjoyed comparing them to my life. They’ve been pretty different in their way of creating that conflict in the story, for example, what would you do if your partner decides that another person needs to be added to the relationship? They would live with you and your partner, they would have sex with your partner as would you, they would contribute to the household income as would you.

Would that be alright or would that be your breaking point? It would be something that would make your partner happy but is giving them all the happiness you can include bringing a third person into the bedroom? Or what if someone stole a job lead? Are you able to keep a personal life and professional distance all at the same time or would that be a breaking point? How about going a little more supernatural, what if you found out your girlfriend had been bitten by a vampire or werewolf? Would it make a difference if the bite was intentionally taken by your girlfriend or if in some weird situation she was bitten?

Could you continue to live with a vampire/werewolf possibly being turned yourself or would that be a reason to break up? How about if your partner moved away? Would you be able to do the long distance thing knowing you may never live in the same city again or it taking several years for that to happen or would you rather allow each of you to start fresh? Then of course there is the closet. What if you weren’t allowed to come out of the closet even in this time of so many rights being returned to the LGBT community?

Would you be able to stay in that type of relationship or would it be too much and create the break-up? Or yet another one, what if you believed your girlfriend revealed intimate details of your past to the media? Would that be your breaking point? Could you forgive someone for that betrayal when it meant a media frenzy? And lastly, in yet a different story, what if you found out that your girlfriend had a criminal past? Could you overlook her past in lieu of your present or would it be your breaking point?

What are some stories you’ve read with an interesting break-up scenario? Are you someone who doesn’t mind the infidelity story line or does it create too much heartache and/or anger for you to read? Our lesfic authors are amazing in their creativity of characters, their good points and their bad and how they all factor into them becoming possible breaking points for their relationships. As a reader I would love to hear what your favorites are!

And if you still want to donate to this amazing ride that is helping to bring an end to AIDS/HIV please feel free to drop a donation here and just wait for more crazy pictures and stories to come as Kim and I set out yet again to ride the 545 miles between San Francisco and Los Angeles!

Ride phenom

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8 thoughts on “That Would Do It!

  1. OMG! I’m like you … I have stopped reading one book (I wasn’t in the best place emotionally to even deal with fictionalized betrayals, or misunderstandings!) and other ‘hurt’ me so much! I didn’t read that author, a good/well-known one by the way, for a while. Now, I am extra careful on what, who I read. That’s where reviews come in handy, they sometimes reveal more of the ‘type’ of story you’ll be reading. I definitely avoid certain “hot topics” or at least, common topics in LesFic. Infidelity is … well, sometimes manageable, depends who and how it’s handled. Yeah, break-ups are hard (again, depending who/how it’s portrayed), and miscommunication —whew so frustrating, hard. I get invested in these people, well, at least, if the author ‘speaks’ to me. Hmmm … should I name the books … how ’bout this … the only lesfic book, I can remember, that I’ve stopped reading has violence and a misunderstanding that keep them apart for years, the other … a woman was, at least, partially responsible (she was the lead character) for breaking up a nice, loving, long-term couple, it was HEARTBREAKING the way it was portrayed, how the scene played out. Terrible … Hard to say what my “break-up” point would be …I certainly have experienced the pain of break-ups, but luckily NOT like the Lesfic characters, books I’ve read. Not sure how or what I’d do … not sure I want to find out.

    Again, great topic Erin!

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    1. Exactly Barbara! I get invested in the characters too and it just makes it so painful when they are hurting. I know it’s a reality of life that some people are unfaithful to their partners but it just seems more responsible if they just finished where they are before moving on. Sort of like that scene in “Imagine Me and You” where the character says something along the lines of I want you to be happy and I want to be the person responsible for that happiness. But if you aren’t the person bringing that happiness you need to let them go otherwise you are both miserable!! Thanks for reading Barabara!!

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  2. Erin,
    I particularly enjoyed this blog. While I’ve enjoyed all of your blogs of a reader’s view, this one must have been hard to write in a different way. The way you tied it into the AIDS/HIV ride was smooth and very crafty! Thanks for such a skillful look at the deal breakers without giving out any spoilers. Many people wouldn’t have done nearly as well!
    Ona

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  3. Wow – what a ride! You’ve outlined a whole bunch of great storylines – I better get writing! But seriously, you are so right about communication in a relationship. One of my novels does have two characters in a long distance relationship who aren’t managing to communicate very well. Even while I was writing it I was thinking, why don’t they just pick up the phone? But then I wouldn’t have had much of a story to tell. So, I don’t really want to frustrate a reader to the extent that they throw the book across the room or don’t want to read to the end. Hopefully I can tell a good enough story that will make them want to find out what happens.

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  4. Jen that sounds like a fun challenge you have in your WIP but I’m sure with your talent it will be a wonderful story. I know that the times that Kim and I have been apart (inevitable with an active duty sailor) even when we are communicating the fact that we are missing out on the non-verbal part of those conversations made an impact as well. Good luck and if you need any help I love to beta read. Thanks for reading!!

    Jen I am so sorry! I just re-read your original comment and now realize it was a currently published story and now a WIP. I look forward to finding that scenario when I find it in one of your stories.

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  5. Very interesting blog as always. Of course isn’t miscommunication, infidelity, and all the others possible issues you noted a big piece of lesfic, otherwise there wouldn’t be much of a story to read. There has to be some angst. I was just talking with a reader about the whole irritation that some readers have when characters do something that they feel is totally unrealistic like return to their cheating lover, yet it does happen all the time. When you’ve invested a lot of time in a relationship and you love them so much, you are willing to give that second chance and sometimes it works out in the end. That is real life because people are not perfect.

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    1. Annette I agree that anything is possible and returning to a cheating lover happens. I would agree with the reader that I would be irritated if it was unrealistic but that depends on how the author is portraying the situation. If it is being set up and is inevitable then, yes, I am still hurt because I could see it coming but if it seems out of nowhere with no set up and no support then I would lean toward more irritated. Almost as if the author just used it being easy and not for actually making it the story. Not sure if that makes sense or not.

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