I’ve written before that I’ve named my muse,. Macy – because Macy rhymes with, Racy – which is my thought process and creative path from which my fiction flows.
I’ve also referred to Macy (and myself) having the attention span of a gnat on crack.
When translated means simply – We both have Attention Deficit Disorder.
It works like this…
I’m repeating all of this because I’ve received a ton of questions about her. Bear with me.
Really, hang in there!
Macy has been missing since last June. When I came home from the hospital, I would sit in my office chair, then spring up as if tacks were built into the seat. I don’t know why – but I couldn’t stay in this damn chair. It came to the point I didn’t even want to pass the door way to my office. That’s a damn shame because I had to on the way to the bathroom!
Talk about winding a big fat ball of yarn named, guilt. Then add in a daily dose of insecurity, named: What the hell is wrong with me?
Problem with that – when you ask yourself that question – the brain will tell you exactly what’s wrong with you. I have a long list.
I managed to write a few blogs – and maybe a page or two, but without my muse.
Having no muse – or if you’d rather – being encompassed by writer’s block is absolutely no fun at all. None of my awesome characters came to talk to me, nor did they tell me of the adventures they wanted to go on. They absolutely didn’t whisper who they wanted to fall in love with.
Where did all of my fantabulous ideas go? When you’re in the zone and you write notes that look like gibberish – you understand them.
When you’re NOT in that frame of mind – they all look like gibberish. 🙂
Macy was gone and no where to be found. I couldn’t bribe her, or blackmail her into coming back.
I have a sneaking suspicion she was hanging out here…
I could only watch as my friends wrote more books and maintained their online presence and it felt as if the world had passed me by – and once again, I was on the sidelines looking in but seemingly unable to participate.
I’ve come on here time and time again – telling you and worse, myself – that this dark time was over. Call it wishful thinking or whatever you want.
I only knew that after the blog – I went right back to where I was, without Macy.
Until the next blog.
Maybe I’ve called her a bitch once too often.
In the past, I’ve shared awesome advice I was given about getting through a block. They didn’t work for me – I hoped it worked for you!
Or maybe it only worked because I was on a certain story – not trying to build a new one.
After another scary trip to the hospital…
Macy showed up unannounced and without fanfare, raring to go.
Either she felt sorry for me – or was sunburned and Sangria’d out. But she seems to be here to stay.
There are no more tacks in my office seat. There seems to be no end to the creativity she’s shown.
I may get through this year with a book after all. It’s well on it’s way.
AND I have a big announcement coming up soon!
Sorry to do that to you.
Just for the record…
How do you get your
bitch… um, muse to come home?