Ask the Pros by Angela Grace

 

Congratulations to Jove Belle and to all Winners of the Golden Crown Literary Society Awards! 

Beliefs.  We all have them and we live our lives by them.

A belief is a story that we have told ourselves over and over again until that story becomes our truth.  When a person tells me they can’t lose weight, that is their truth, so I agree with them.  When a person tells me they could never write a book, that is their truth, so I agree with them.  My agreement with their assessment doesn’t bode well in a counseling setting.  But, it’s where we have to start.

Often I receive push back when I talk about changing beliefs because our stories are well established, comfortable and to change the story takes not only effort, desire and will power but a hope that things can be different.  It’s much easier to say that we “could never” do something than to change our stories.  This is true even when a person is experiencing misery.

Early in my career as a psychologist, one client responded the same way every time I ask her how her week had been.  “Same shit, different day.”  Her words reflected her beliefs. She was miserable.  She was also unwilling to think that maybe her life could be better, could be different, or that joy might be one thought, one story and one belief change away.

As an author, do you have a limiting belief about your writing or is there a story that you are telling yourself that could be changed?  And, if you did change your story, how would your writing life be better?

If you have writer’s resistance, checking in on your beliefs about your writing may help to get you writing again.  What stories are you currently telling yourself about your work in progress?  What looping thoughts are running the show while your fingers are avoiding the keypad and opening the fridge door instead?

How do we change our beliefs? We change the story. First, ask yourself which stories limit you from achieving what you really want to achieve.  Second, I encourage you to write the story on paper so you can see it.   Third, change the language of the sentences you wrote.  You are writers.   Changing the words is what you do in rewrites and edits.  Do the same thing with your story.  Make your words best reflect what you really desire.  Then, make those words your new belief by telling yourself over and over again, your new story.

What I am suggesting isn’t magical.  Research is clear that when we change our thoughts we develop new neuro-pathways that can lead us in a different direction.  By repeating your new, improved story over and over, you create the new pathways. Time to rewrite?

Angela Grace – Writer’s Coach

OptimizedLifeCoaching.com

livbold@aol.com

 

 

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6 thoughts on “Ask the Pros by Angela Grace

  1. Fantastic advice! I’ve done it to change specific situations in my life, but never thought about applying it to writing projects. Thanks!

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  2. Love this! Funny – I never had writers block until I said I “never’ have writers block. LOL. Truthfully though it wasn’t until 2010 that I’d even heard any of this philosophy- well maybe I did and didn’t “hear” it. Anyway – it changed my life and when I REMEMBER to think this way (old habits are tough…) wait! Shouldn’t I change that sentence… AAAAA. 🙂
    And around we go.

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  3. I never considered writing down and changing the stories I tell myself, but I’m definitely going to do it now. Thanks for this post – I needed it after a bout of depression and anxiety has had me sleeping more than working. Women and Words to the rescue!

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