Be an Outlaw. Win a Book.

Congratulations Glenda and Kerry, ebook winners and connoisseurs of crime (except that last part, probably). Check your email. If you don’t have something from a hoodlum named Ashley, then something has gone wrong and you should hit me up. Thanks, everyone, for participating.

When I was writing The Price of Cash, I struggled a bit with finding new ways for Cash and her buddy Nate to launder money. So I did what any self-respecting author would do: I called my buddy Carsen Taite (aka whined via text until she gave up and called me. At midnight). Carsen has guided be through many a crime-filled discussion. You want to know what chemical compound will best remove blood? We’ve covered that. You want to know what chemical compound will best destroy the viability of blood (it’s different!)? We got that too. You need to know twenty ways to steal drugs from an evidence locker? Yeah, we’ve both written versions of that storyline.

Allegedly, these are not conversations that “normal” people have. Allegedly, “normal” people don’t think about fun, sexy ways to break laws. And, allegedly, “normal” people haven’t given much thought to what their profession would be if they weren’t restricted by those silly laws. So here is your chance, sugar. Leave a comment below describing what your job would be if you were an outlaw. I’ll pick a winner July 25th and send them a Cash Braddock ebook.

And remember, committing a crime after posting about said crime in the comments will probably be considered premeditation.

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22 thoughts on “Be an Outlaw. Win a Book.

  1. While I’d like to think I’d be an evil genius, hatching plots left and right to foil the law, I’d probably end up more like Wiley Coyote with a box of useless ACME gadgets. So after scrapping that idea, I’d rather be a modern day Robin Hood. Can I do that?

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  2. I have a recurring nightmare. I have broken into a bank and have endless money in small denominations. But I feel so guilty that I have to break into the bank to pay the money back….it’s very nerve wracking with walk in safe and pressure pads. The sweat runs down my back and I am totally on edge. And, I always, always get caught!
    So maybe failed outlaw will always be my role.

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  3. My (dream) job as an outlaw would be breaking into the benefits/applications review systems at the Department of Human Services at local county and state offices and offering subtle *fixes* to the problems I see there with their responses to applications and recertifications. Instead of denying/cutting families and individuals off, some mysterious hacker would find ways to apply their own rules that might not have applied to that particular situation before to that particular situation now, with some justification however-outlandish-it-might-be-which-is-usually-enough-for-the-department, thereby changing the outcome. Yeah, that’s it, some mysterious hacker would do it, that’s the ticket!

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  4. Right. Well… If I were to pick a career in crime I think I’d consider forgeries. I blame this completely on movies and series such as White Collar. Besides all the interesting facts and history you need to know, you also need to know quite a bit about chemistry etc to get whatever you’re forging right. Whether it’s a painting, bonds, antiques, jewellery. Such a wide variety of possibilities and each is unique. Loads of challenges!

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  5. As an outlaw I think I could be some kind of Robin Hood of today, otherways I would suffer from nightmares.

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  6. Oh this is super easy. I’d be the Madame of a lesbian-only bordello. We’d employ all types of women, provide full healthcare and benefits (including retirement plan!), and schedule free sex-education classes every Wednesday afternoon for anyone interested.

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  7. I would be a modern-day Robin Hood, finding where Filthy Rich have hidden their now clean money,stealing it and redistributing it to the people who truly need it.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’d be a pimp. I had three students would worked as pimps and they made a lot of money and only the prostitute was ever arrested. The pimps never were. They got busted for selling drugs on the side.

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  9. Horse thief. I always want a better quality horse than I can afford so thieving might be easier on my wallet. LOL

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  10. As an outlaw I would have the security codes to get into every youth club/ library heck every social meeting group for teenagers and young adults and leave a selection of LGBTQ books so they can read about people like them without the fear of having to ask for them. I would then steal every book that taught them they were less than other people because of who they loved, how they presented themselves and how they looked.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Well, I’d be a serial killer. But, I’d use my skills at ending life only in assisted suicide cases. I’d help those with terminal illnesses pass joyfully into their next transition, shuffling off their mortal coil in ease and style. Imagine: Super private parties with the terminally ill person and their families. Everyone has a great time and I, the serial killer, do my humane thing as the party ends. I disappear in the crowd as the coroner is called… Police detectives dub me Death’s Angel. (Fictional daydreaming can sure lead to strange places…)

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  12. I would be a bank robber but after robbing them I would go to the nearest orphanage & give them the money!!!!!

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  13. After 15 years working corrections and many a conversation with male and female convicts I think I would have loved veing a fly on the wall for that.
    Add me to the list please

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  14. My younger idealistic self had wanted to fight back against all the ultra right Christian fundamentalists. I often dreamed about living on the lam , blowing up their churches and generally causing as much damage to their organizations as was possible. I often thought about dropping off the grid in order to help shelter my identity against the law.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I’m the black sheep of my family because, unlike my siblings, I have never done time. And I don’t want to! Any crime I commit is going to be petty like spitting on the sidewalk or not telling the cashier that she gave me too much change.

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  16. Think I must have stolen money about 75 years ago. Several times over the years I have dreamed that I found and dug up cash by a fence post on the farm where I was raised in Oregon.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. If allowed no imaginative limitations I would definitely be a type of hybrid Vampire/cowgirl/pirate robbing stage coaches and charming the ladies on said stagecoaches with my exquisite vampire good looks in between traveling through time to other exotic locations on my time traveling pirate ship! Wow that was a mouthful but makes me want to write something now…..lol ☺

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  18. I’d somehow brain-jack all the executives of all the planet destroying fossil fuel and mining companies and the chemical companies and hack all their databases to turn them into organizations that worked to repair all the damage they have done.

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  19. If I were a criminal, I think I would be an assassin on the side of the innocent victims of violent crimes. Taking out the trash, as it were.

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