To Detox or Not to Detox

I have a friend who has been on my case about doing a cleanse. It involves fasting for several days, taking diuretics, drinking some other stuff, and an enema.


She does it often, and says that anyone she’s gotten to do it has reported feeling wonderful afterward.

She harasses me on an almost daily basis to do it. I refuse consistently.

I don’t have anything against cleanses per se. In fact, I think they’re a great idea. And I’ll probably do it one day. But for the moment, there are logistical and practical issues to take into consideration that prevent me from doing it. (The fact that I can’t have coffee is a MAJOR deterrent. No one should be around me when I haven’t had coffee.)coffee 2

Why am I telling you this? It’s about toxicity. It’s all around me. It’s all around all of us. And I so truly wish that detoxing from people and situations was as easy as detoxing the body. If I could drink some stuff, take a few trips to the bathroom, and purge myself of the shit that surrounds me, there would be no hesitation. I’ll venture to say that most people wouldn’t hesitate either. (Although, I do know some people who thrive on the drama that is the byproduct of toxicity. As much as they bitch and complain, they wouldn’t know what to do without drama.)

woman cade

I fear more and more these days that this toxicity is turning me into an impatient, surly person. I already know I’m jaded, and definitely a sarcastic bitch. But when you combine those qualities with impatient and surly, that’s a really bad, volatile mixture. It’s already surfaced on several occasions and it’s only by virtue of the fact that others have a greater capacity for forgiveness than I do that I haven’t been banished to the Island of Misfit

The same person who wants me to cleanse also taught me a chant to not only derail the stress but to push the responsibility of bad juju onto whoever it is that’s pissing me off. I’ve engaged in many strategies to reach a place of calm and find a little inner peace. Hopefully, the sum of all these things will bring me to that inner peace.

Studies have shown that Americans are more depressed than they have been in many years. I don’t need to explain why, I’m sure. But how terrible that the mental health of an entire nation should suffer because of things that they have no control over (in the immediate sense). So, I encourage everyone to chant with me. Do it whenever you feel ugliness rising in you or whenever someone does something against you. Do this with the classic chant hand position pointing outward toward the person pissing you off. I’ve spelled it phonetically, so if anyone knowledgeable on this wants to jump in, feel free.  chant

Nah Mo Oni Tofoah Hoishiang

My friend has also taught me some choice foul words in Chinese, so either way, I’m on my way to a healthier me! In exchange, I’m teaching her foul language in English and Italian. I always repay my debts.



  1. i love your thoughts in the practicality of skipping all the overrated aspects of cleansing. as long as someone has a halfway decent diet, and functioning liver and kidneys, they’ll get the same lightness from an old fashioned natural expulsion of #1 and #2.
    coping mechanism with toxic people on the other hand, indeed useful and thank you for sharing that as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m with you on the coffee thing. It would not be pretty if I couldn’t have it. Besides, about the time you turn 50 you get to do this purge thing anyway so you can have this…um….procedure. So don’t worry. You’ll get to do it later. Meantime, I lift my cup of coffee in salute!


  3. My sister cleanses and swears by it as well. She says it gives her euphoria. I could get that just fine, but they took my drugs away… Ha! In any case, I’m going to learn these words and put them on an index card for future use. Have a great day RJ. 🙂


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