Seriously, are you?
I have some questions.
There are the obvious ones such as why the fuck did you let Trump happen? And what do the Russians have on Congress? C’mon, you can tell me!
Anyway, I’m sure you’ve been asked all that ad nauseum. I’ve got a more personal, more selfish question.
My muse, you know the goofy multi cultural one who mutters to herself? Why do you have her bound and gagged? I mean, that’s the only explanation I have right now. You seem to love doing it at this point in the writing process too. You know what I’m talking about, the final third of the book.
In every single novel I’ve written, you’ve kidnapped her around this time. Hell, even when I was writing fanfic you did it! So, seriously God can we talk? Woman to woman. What is with the literary constipation? The words are there. I know exactly what I want to happen but they won’t come through. I feel them though. Right there on the cusp.
Last time this happened we had more of a reason right? You remember? The newest breast cancer scare which had been more frightening than usual thanks to the term BI RAD 4b, but we pulled through. You let her go right when I thought I was about to lose my mind. The situation isn’t any where near as precarious. I mean, I’ve been officially married for a year. Bought a house, and I work a job I like most of the time for shit pay. I know what the stressor is. I’m bringing home pennies compared to what I used to before.
So, you’d think her loopy ass would be dancing on my brain right about now to help me pen a masterpiece to end all masterpieces. I’m guessing you have her hog tied this time. So, no dancing right now.
You’ve seen what I’m doing to pass the time? Binge watching Criminal Minds, Bull, and I’ve seen the stupidest movies. Don’t get me started on Dr. Pimple Popper because really? I’m never eating oatmeal again. At this point, I could have come up with my own reality show or movie idea and been a few hundred thousand dollars richer.
Let’s rewind to the first instance of this happening in a professional capacity. Jove Belle had told me for the tenth time that I needed to rewrite the whole fucking book. I thought about hiring hit men just to scare her mind you. I wanted her to be as stressed and on edge as I was at that time. How many super hero movies did I watch? How much smut did I read? How much cake and chips did I eat? A lot goddammit. Finally, the words started flowing again.
Well, I’m trying to stay away from cake and chips. I’ve been eating carrot sticks instead. Aren’t they supposed to be good for the brain? Or is it just eye sight? I don’t recall. I would also like to admit that in addition to the binge watching mentioned before, I am fast becoming an Investigation Discovery addict. I now know how to commit the perfect murder and think Joe Kenda is the shit.
HELP ME. It won’t be long before I turn to my X Box One or PS4. A new Tomb Raider game is coming out not to mention Red Dead 2 and Fall Out 76. My fellow writers grab a limb and put me back together. What do you do to get through writer’s block? If it involves beer, wine or cheese I’m in. That’s infinitely better than cake and chips.
KD’s work is available on Amazon or at Ylva. This includes her lesfic drama, Pink. Her next book in the Cops and Docs Series, Drawing the Line will be released November 21st. For more information on KD visit her website