Butch Like Me

Once upon a time either on Goodreads or Amazon, I can’t remember, a reader wrote a trigger warning to her fellow readers that my book, Between the Lines, had a butch main character in it.

I was very, very confused.

To be honest, I still am.

I know as a community and as individuals we have our own baggage filled with experiences both good and bad but why would butchness be a trigger?

I am indeed butch, so am I a trigger for others within the community? I’ve never raised my hand to a woman. I’ve never tried to control her and I’ve never tried to limit her neither have the characters I’ve created.

Seems to me that it all comes down to stereotypes which always, ALWAYS makes it easier to discriminate and be prejudice against.

That’s not okay. That is far from okay. I mean, as far as I know we’re not lurking in the bushes waiting to jump out at you. At least, I hope not. That would definitely be a red flag. You shouldn’t be with that woman. A woman chooses who she’s in a relationship with. Some like androgynous women, some like butch, soft butch, stone butch, tweeners and even those more feminine.

To me, being butch doesn’t mean that I want to be a man. I love being a woman. This is just who I am.

I might add that the same reader I do believe warned others that it was an accessory story.

Sigh. I’m glad she felt like she was doing her due diligence. Don’t get me wrong I totally get how that could bother a reader who had been sexually assaulted. Still, part of me just threw my hands up and said, “So fucking what?” I actually believe there should be more stories with strap ons, anal sex and whatever kinds of sex there is out there because of the simple fact that it exists and people engage in it. I don’t just mean fictional people either. I think people want to push things like that toward erotic romance, but shit why? Why? Why isn’t erotic romance just romance? Just because it has more sex in it?

Isn’t that what we do when relationships first start? Fuck like there’s no tomorrow? I could make the argument all day that in romance, sex scenes should be whisper soft, lyrical and loving. I could also make the argument that when characters have been playing cat and mouse all through the book they should tear into each other like rabbits. To each their own.

God, don’t get me started. Ya’ll know I could talk about this…think about this all day but I don’t wanna have to answer questions from the kids I work with about why I’m all sweaty.

KD’s work can be found on Amazon or at Ylva.  Her next book in the Cops and Docs Series, Drawing the Line is now readily available. For more information on KD visit her website



  1. Are you f—-king kidding me. I adore butch characters…why is that a trigger again? The whole trigger thing boggles me. Seems just about anything could be a trigger for someone. I’ve never put a trigger warning on any of my books…fortunately I’m not read so far and wide that I’ve been bashed for not putting warnings, but sheesh sometimes I just shake my damn head!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Nope not kidding. It was back when the book first came out. Idk if its still there or not but it def. happened. It’s burned into my brain so to speak.


  2. What? Butches are a precious resource getting more and more in short supply. i often have butch characters in my stories, and sometimes both figures in a pairing are butch. Man! (or I should say, “Butch”!) I like to write those. So many of my butch friends and acquaintances have taken the track to becoming transgender, and I understand their need to do that–a very close friend was the image of her father, and passing for male was clearly the right and inevitable thing to do–but I’m still sad that so few butches have maintained their status. If your “trigger person” is representative of many lesfic readers, though, going trans does seem more and more the right route to take.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. What’s not to love about butches whether fictional characters or in RL! We need more diversity and I totally agree with you about erotic romance being romance.
    Love your work!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is disturbing. I’m a fan of the butch persona. I write about butches who are strong, sexual, hot, caring…need I go on? Our stories wouldn’t be the same without them, and neither would a lot of readers be happy about NOT seeing them. I, for one, in one way or another will continue to write butches into most of my works. Never fear, butch women, I’ve got you covered.

    Liked by 2 people

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