What does that mean you say? Well, I’ll tell you. It’s my shortened way of introducing fall into our midst. It means pumpkin spice shit. Yes, it’s that time. I thought I’d make this blog nice and light and as bubbly as I can get, which isn’t much mind you. First, I’ll talk about the good pumpkin spice shit which is only a matter of opinion, I know. Then, I’ll break ground on the horrifying mess that occurs when things are taken way too far.
The good things: Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte
Pumpkin Spice candles, Pumpkin Spi Coffee, Pumpkin Spiced Pancakes and Waffle MixPumpkin Spice Chai, Pumpkin Spiced Muffins/bread, PS Yogurt, Pumpkin spice creamer. P Spice Mini Crullers. I could even possibly get with Pumpkin Spice Syrup.
I think its excellent that these things are only introduced for a limited time. Why? Real talk. Because you will get sick of them. Verily, I started on Pumpkin Spice Creamer two weeks ago and I already have to take a break. After a while it starts to taste like rancid cinnamon milk with a pinch of nutmeg. I have to say though one of my favorite things to make are pumpkin spice biscuits, which is a combination of bisquick mix, real pumpkin, the usual spices, and cool whip. I then top them with apple butter. I top my pumpkin pancakes and waffles with a slather of apple butter too I’m not ashamed to say.
Don’t judge me until you’ve walked a mile in my nutmeg dusted shoes.
Now, for the things that make me doubt humanity’s chances of survival.
Pumpkin Spice Gum, PS Protein Powder, PS Tortilla Chips, Nestle Tollhouse PS morsels, Pumpkin Spiced Oreos, PS Soy Milk, PS Fettuccini Noodles, Pumpkin Spiced Almonds, PS Twinkies, PS Pringles, PS Body Wash, Shampoo and Lotion (who the fuck wants to go around smelling like a candle?) PS Vodka, PS Beer (gag…so much gag), PS Hummus (OMG WTF) and PS Peanut Butter.
I’m not making any of this up. If some of you readers are enticed by anything on this list, something is wrong with you. You are NOT my friends and deserve to live on your own island surrounded by PS water, PS coconuts and PS fish to roast over you PS scented fire.
Good day to you all.
KD’s work can be found on Amazon or at Ylva. Her next book in the Cops and Docs Series, Drawing the Line is now readily available. Her sixth novel Big Girl Pill will be released on December 3rd via Dirt Road Books. For more information on KD visit her website