I am…

I am not a romantic. There. I said it. While I studied the Romantics in college as part of my literature degree, I didn’t get stars in my eyes because of the sonnets, odes, Lord Byron, etc. Although, I did enjoy the hell out of the Epic of Gilgamesh and Beowulf and certain authors along the way. I am convinced, however, that TS Elliot was high as fuck when he wrote The Wasteland, which is a useless piece of gibberish that grates on my nerves like those little yappy dogs who refuse to be quiet.

Flowers and gifts just because are not my style. My wife’s favorite movie is The Notebook and all it does is make me roll my eyes and gag a little. I don’t bring her breakfast in bed or make her candle lit dinners. I hazard to say if I did she’d think something was wrong with me or that I really shit the bed and didn’t want to tell her.

She works two jobs because I’m having trouble finding a decent one. So, I’ll tell you what I do. I try to make sure the house is clean and the animals are taken care of. I bug the shit out of her about taking her medicine. I make sure she eats. I listen to her as she bitches about work even though sometimes I have no idea what she’s talking about. And when I ask for clarification? She gives me that same look that she shoots at me when I ask about one of her make up applying contraptions. I get the message loud and clear. Stay in your lane. I roll my eyes, but I continue to listen.

She does what she wants because I have never been nor will I ever be controlling. If she wants another pug then poof we get another pug. I put up token resistance and I use that term loosely. I do wish she’d spend less money and tell her so from time to time. I make her laugh. I make her roll her eyes. I aggravate her and piss her off sometimes in the same sentence.

I’m talented that way.

Now that I’ve said all this do you think I should be writing romance?  I’ve written blogs before about how sanitized lesfic makes my teeth hurt with its sweetness and perfect people. I’m going to answer the question I posed for you. Yes. Yes, I should and I can write romance because there is no one singular definition of what romance is or what it should be. There can be butches who pack and paint their toes. There can be thick, curvy women with potty mouths. There can be regular people with regular jobs who still help the reader to escape. There can be geeks and nerds. Most of all there can be assholes who stay assholes because that’s part of their charm.

No matter if we are practical or romantic a majority of us love or seek to find it. I love my wife. I should tell her more but I do try to show it. My aim is to keep her stress level down. Encourage her. Make her laugh. Listen and try to make her feel special even though she doesn’t see that in herself. I don’t always succeed. Sometimes it’s a struggle because my asshole like tendencies get in the way.

I am not a romantic, but I don’t have to be to make you feel, make you laugh, make you fall in love and turn you on.


KD’s work can be found on Amazon or at Ylva.  Get information here on her sixth novel, Big Girl Pill which will be released on December 3rd via Dirt Road Books. For more information on KD visit her website



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