Fakeation

Although I love being at home, the past four weeks have been driving me slowly insane. There’s the fact that quarantine started on my spring break, which in turn made it take an extra week for my school to get back on track. I also have three siblings and now all of us are home always at all times. School through zoom is difficult because when I was physically going to class I at least did not have all of my things there to distract me, but now sitting at my desk with all of my books behind me, and my dice sets in front of me, and the internet one click away, it takes so much effort to sit still that I end up not paying attention.

It’s not all bad though! With Passover beginning tonight, March and April are cleaning months, and my fam ended up cleaning the entire house much faster than we usually take. I’m also writing more, although that has less to do with me having more drive, and more with the fact that I no longer spend three hours a day on travel through the city. My parents have so far binged like five shows together. Everyone is catching up on hobby things. We’ve also watched like three seasons of Hell’s Kitchen as a family. My sister and I built a bookshelf, and we never done any woodwork before so that’s dope too.

All in all, the quarantine is a pleasant hell. An article that a professor sent out said that what a lot of us are feeling is actually grief. The uncertainty, the change in daily life, the restrictions, the deaths, all of that is compounding into a communal sense of loss, and I agree in a way. I don’t think that my feelings about this period of time is grief, but it’s definitely disorienting. The entire thing is a platform for cognitive dissidence to wreak havoc. How many of us actually know what day of the week it is? Everyday feels like a weekend, but also like a workday. I’m always worried that I’m not doing something, but there’s nothing left to do but have free time. It might be a Monday, but so was yesterday and the day before that. Or, wait, is it a friday? Or Sunday?

I hope this is a different experience for you all, and that you’re having an easier time adapting to this temporary change. Also here’s the bookshelf, building it was the gayest I’ve felt in years.

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One comment

  1. I am still working. I am a night manager at Pharmacy. I wish I had some time off. I have four books needing endings and I started a new book. We must change how we think, read the book we never read. Write the great epic novel and communicate if lonely on line. Try to keep busy and be safe.

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