This will probably shock you so buckle down. The world is on fire. And also there’s a pandemic. And a despotic fuckwit is leading the country. I failed high school Econ, but I’m pretty sure we’re in a recession. Also (and really, this is going to blow your mind) racism still exists? Like in a big way. It’s bonkers, I know. According to my public school education, MLK single-handedly ended racism so this was pretty upsetting news to me, specifically. My dudes, the world is not good right now. I’m even going to say things are bad.
The thing is, none of this is actually surprising. We were all Cassandra. We just chose not to believe our own prophesies. We’re dumb. Like, as a species. That’s my grand takeaway here. On the whole, we are amazingly stupid which is why I have decided not to look at the bigger picture. It’s right there for me all the time. The sky is gray and orange and it looks like fall, but when you go outside the air is hot and heavy. Not humid, but weighty. When I leave the house, I match my face mask to my outfit. It’s helpful for both the pandemic and the smoke. That’s what we call a twofer, friends. When I go on Twitter, I instinctively share hot takes about racism and climate change and the patriarchy. But if I’m being real honest, I gotta tell you I spend a lot of time watching videos of pandas or looking at pictures of kittens or reading stories about Dolly Parton. Sometimes I wish I could be one of those people who “doesn’t pay attention to politics” or watches sports for the ball throwing (is that what they do in the sports?), but I am not one of those people. I can, however, cling to the bright spots. Those heteronormative motherfuckers are still going to have violent, bizarre, destructive gender reveals, but I can experience a fleeting moment of joy in watching that dude hit himself in the junk with an explosive blue canister.
I’m looking forward to November. I mean, yes, because I’d really like to know if I’m going to continue living in the US or if I’m going to flee. But if I think about that, well, it’s a real bummer. So I’m not focusing on it.
I’m thinking about Thanksgiving food. My father-in-law makes the best goddamn Thanksgiving meal and I’m going to sit at an outdoor table when it’s fifty-seven degrees (fuck the pandemic) and I’m going to eat lovingly roasted turkey and mashed potatoes and stuffing all smothered in gravy.
I’m thinking about the new Taylor Swift album (which, yes, has already been released) (and, yes, this is two blogs in a row where I talk about folklore and you can’t stop me). The vinyl will ship in November. I’m going to listen to folklore on vinyl and feel feelings that are not my feelings. Because I’m kind of dead inside so I really enjoy soaking in Taylor Swift’s feelings, which are much safer than my own.
I’m going to watch the entire Resident Evil series on 4K. 4-fucking-K. It’s going to be epic. Think of the gore. Think of the zombies. Think of the sky alight with flaming crows that I don’t have to worry about because it is fictional fire instead of a literal firenado. I love fictional fire and fictional pandemics and fictional apocalypses.
The world is maybe ending. Which is a real drag. Without electricity and society there will be a lot less Cheetos and Netflix and I happen to really like Cheetos and Netflix. The good news is the earth will continue to spin even after humans kill any remaining life. So the real takeaway here is that humanity probably can’t destroy the earth because the carbon will endure forever. See? I can be positive.