Ask the Pros by Angela Grace

Batten Down The Hatches

Wife: Honey, I think we need to start battening down the hatches.

Me: Huh? What do you mean batten down the hatches?

Wife: I mean, prepare for difficulty or crisis.

Me: Sweetie, I know what battening down the hatches means. What are you asking?       Are we heading into trouble? Is your Mom coming to visit? Oh shit … 

Wife: No, no … my Mom is not coming but since you bring her up, she is the problem.  Well, not just her but all the people like her supporting T in the election. I can’t believe she going to vote for him. All my life, she didn’t suffer fools but now, for some reason she keeps making excuses for the guy. 

Me: Yup, I know. So you’re worried about your Mom?

Wife: I’m worried about us, about the country. Some of these T supporters are mentally deranged. Come on, kidnapping Governors, figuring out police addresses so they can kill them, storming the capital and taking hostages. Some are dangerous. I think we should anticipate and plan for a T loss. 

Me: You’re right … but it’s just not if T loses. If T wins, I don’t think that’s going to go well either. The protests against him will be epic. I know I’ll be on the streets. Then, the T supporters will fight us.   Uh-oh!!

Wife: So, I think we need to batten down our hatches. Let’s get ready for days after the election. Let’s think it through, guess what would happen and figure out what we should do ahead of time. 

Me: Like what? Get money in the house in case the web gets shut down and banks close? Groceries? Better locks on the door? Solar generator? 

Wife: I don’t know honey, but we need to talk about it, plan and come up with strategies.  We should probably do all that and maybe more. You know, just today, someone cut a cyber optical cable and it shut down voter registration in Virginia. 

Me: Your Mom’s at it again, huh? 

Angela Grace


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  2. Thanks for the laugh. We just replaced all our emergency food and are filling the 5 gallon water bottles. Tsunami, tornado and trump all start with a “t.”


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