It’s not about you, it’s about us

A reader’s perspective on bringing children into the world.

I actually didn’t think to make a New Year’s resolution on New Years. I already have goals pertinent to me that I am working on and dreaming about. It didn’t seem necessary to declare something on a specific day that statistics show will most likely be broken or forgotten within the first month. But then I picked up this book, No One Is Too Small To Make A Difference,

while I was in REI and once I started reading it my world came crashing down and I have a resolution, not just for this year but for the rest of my life. I’m not sure how many of you readers out there have children or even grandchildren but Kim and I decided starting a family wasn’t what we wanted. For that reason I never really thought about the younger generation other than how awesome they have it, especially when it comes to being LGBTQ. I mean this younger generation is growing up on faster computers, faster transportation, a visible possibility of traveling to the moon and possibly beyond to Mars, to having things in a matter of seconds when previously we would have to wait for the mail to deliver something. I could only imagine what this younger generation would have when they reached my age. In the meantime I would enjoy all the things they did (though with a bit more struggle of the technological aspects) and keep living my life to the fullest. I mean I’m getting closer and closer to retirement age and our plans are to travel and adventure all we can. But will we be able to?

In this book, No One Is Too Small To Make A Difference, which focuses on the many speeches a young Swedish woman, named Greta Thunberg has given regarding the Climate Crisis and why she is school striking in response, it threw a huge bucket of icy cold water on my reality. Being able to fly around the globe visiting and exploring new places will not be a possibility. As Greta states, “Our house is on fire” and changes need to be implemented NOW to divert the course that humans have laid down. I don’t want it to be true, as I’m sure everyone is thinking, however it is is true and we need to stop procrastinating. It is both an inspiring and terrifying read and I encourage each and every one of you to buy it and read through these speeches given by a 15 year old. This young woman, from this generation that I have been envious of, is doing something that all of us who are older and wiser should already be doing, should already have been doing. Children are amazing and can change lives, this young woman has changed mine. And to bring this back to what I do, read and share lesfic, let’s explore some books with children who aren’t even there yet.

I found G. Benson’s newest release, The Thing About Tilly

The Thing About Tilly by [G Benson]

to be absolutely beautiful. It plays on the idea of two women who have been in love with the other for years but have never crossed that bridge into making it more than friendship. When the main protagonist, Tilly, finally has that courage her moment of reveal is snubbed when she finds Evie in her bathroom holding a pregnancy test with a positive result. This all happens within the first two chapters and from there the reader is sent on a journey of love, including letting your true love go. I laughed, I cried, I yelled at Tilly, and I would be delighted for all of you readers, parents and non-parents to explore what happens when something as permanent as a child, especially an unplanned one, enters your life by reading this story. Then of course let me know your thoughts and if you would do anything differently that what Tilly and Evie do.

And what if you fall in love with a woman who is actively trying to conceive a child with her husband? I loved this twist in Susan X Meagher’s

All That Matters by [Susan X. Meagher]

All That Matters where Blair and Kylie find strength in the friendship and support each gives the other. If they can give that to each other, just imagine what they can give to a child. However, as Susan X Meagher is masterful at, she weaves in societies expectations and pre-conceived ideas while allowing both characters to embrace what it would mean to have a child in their life. One thing I kept playing over and over in my thoughts as I was reading, was would I have been capable of falling in love with my wife if she had been pregnant when we met? I would think that the prospect of motherhood could change anyone’s approach to a relationship, and those thoughts along with all the ways that life could be better with that addition to the relationship are clearly made by Blair and Kylie.

Another great twist is in Jenny Frame’s story Unexpected.

Unexpected by [Jenny Frame]

It’s based on the idea of finding the donor except in this case it is an egg donor and she is brilliantly portrayed by Dale McGuire. When her biological son finds her and asks for her help, the story unfolds in a sweet romance of finding something you never knew you wanted. I mean think about it! If you donated your eggs to assist women in having a child, what would you do if one of those eggs popped back into your life in the form of a young human being? As Dale navigates this new addition to her world as well as finding the balance with the birth mother, Rebecca, the reader is led on a wonderful story of how children bring joy and happiness with their love. Again, some wonderful questions to debate with yourself as you read.

At the beginning I said that I had found a New Year’s resolution but one that is more of a new life resolution. I am striving to make a smaller carbon footprint on our planet. Will you join me in this resolution? Because it’s not about you, it’s about us. All of us working toward this crisis that Greta Thunburg, a child of a generation that may not get all the wonders that we imagine for them, has identified as the only crisis we should be focused on right now. Because when our climate is gone and our environment is destroyed…well let’s not let that happen. Help me help this young woman have a future that isn’t devoid of everything. Help the children listed in this blog have a future. Help YOUR children and grandchildren have a future.