Quarantimes

I have officially run out of steam. I’m not entirely sure if I’m seeing this in others around me, but the quarantine has finally destroyed my emotional state of being and all that is left is a DnD playing shell. The last show I have watched was probably the Mandalorian (which I didn’t finish) back in November when I made a blog post about it. The last show I did finish was short and only had like 6 hours of content and even finishing that is a miracle. I have six books that I have started and none of them have been read past page 70, most staying in the 1-15 page range despite the fact that I am explicitly excited about the stories. There have been zero fiction stories started let alone written since May. I even got lazy about the regularly scheduled naps, and, like, that’s sacred ‘me’ time not to be messed with.

It’s probably my half-assed efforts to find a job and failing to do so, or possibly grief, or maybe even the complete 180 my schedule took this year, going from full time everything to nothing at all. I should have failed some courses so I could still be in school, dang.

Regardless, there are some things that definitely keep that empty gas tank running on those thin fumes. I have never played an MMO in my life, but a group of good friends got me into one so that we can chat regularly. That same group, mostly theatre folk, has included me in several role-playing games, such as Dungeons and Dragons, Monsterhearts, Masks, and Monster of the Week. Let’s just say us liberal arts folks have a lot of free time on our hands right now. I’m even DMing a little, which I never expected to do.

Apart from people I know from the area, several online communities have been welcoming. It’s been nice to be social again in some form.  I feel like this period might be a good time to start and get things back on a track, any track. I’m planning on resuming some productive work, getting the atrophied writing muscle back into working condition, and finishing some of the things I started months and months ago. One step at a time and all that jazz. I urge others to try this with me, doing a thing a day. It sounds exhausting even writing that, but when sleeping sounds like a chore, it’s probably time to do something.

Any of you fine folk experiencing a similar lethargy? Let me know how you’ve been moving through the funk, or even not moving through it. Stay safe out there!

6 comments

  1. I have so much to say… I’ll say it soon, but I wanted to thank you for posting this because I can’t ID a single person (except you) who’s been perceptive enough to see what the pandemic is doing. I miss you and may show up on your doorstep… 😉

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  2. I totally agree with you. Without ZOOM and some neighbors who walk their dogs at the same time I do, I would never see anyone. I have lost touch with many special people I had been close to. I should be writing a book, but I’ve written only the first page. All I want to do is go to sleep and wait until it’s over. I fully understand your feelings. Tomorrow (snowfall allowing) I should get my second Moderna shot, and maybe I’ll begin to hope for an end to all of this. Best to you and hang in there. It’s got to get better because it can’t get much worse!

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  3. Yup. I spent all of January watching sport (skiing, mostly) because I couldn’t deal with anything higher-stakes than ‘will this person get down this hill faster than the last person?’. It does seem to have a seasonal component for me – we hit February and I suddenly had a whole lot more energy. Hope some comes your way soon!

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